There wasn’t much physical pain, really. It was the trouble of taking care of the hole in my foot. I was so paranoid about getting yet another infected wound, I bought all sorts of stuff- cling wrap, antiseptic wipes, etc.

Miss Sun was lying. It wasn’t painful at all.

At a wedding banquet last Sunday, I remarked that it was the first time in more than three years that I felt so comfortable in leather shoes. But I would have still have to stick to hard-soled footwear for the rest of my life. The surgeon confirmed that the joints in my left foot are no longer as flexible. They had been fused together, and it seems that I can’t take part in any marathons ever- not that I have contemplated to.

This should be the last time I’m posting a picture of my left foot in this blog. The Five Broken Bones saga ends here. Concluded. Climaxed. Period. Full Stop. The End.

No more accidents, PLEASE!

I had to meet my friend-cum-financial advisor to get the claim forms, so I took the opportunity to have dinner in town this evening. That’s after being trapped at home for several days. Even a drive to any heartland mall would be cool.

I might have blogged about this before. If I did, it’s worth a repeat. This chocolate cake at Canelé is divine. I’d scrunch up my face and go, “It is VERY NICE! You must try!” None of my friends have voiced any objections so far.

In other news, I’ll be back on air tomorrow. My MC hasn’t ended, but I’m sick of doing nothing at home. I’ve finished all my antibiotics, and I don’t foresee any complications. WOOHOO!

这些简讯真是令人感动。
身边有这些朋友，我果然没有白活。

但是，
行动不便的关系，
我一天只洗一次澡。

我就算饿死，
也不会让任何人见到我这幅模样⋯⋯

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！

The drive to Gleneagles was unbelievably smooth, and the admission process was incredibly swift. Less than an hour after I woke up on Wednesday morning, I was sent into the holding area- Ward 722.

Can I just say that they were really nice and friendly? Almost everyone- from the nurses on Level 7 to the personnel in the operating theatre, had this warm and very reassuring smile. They created the perfect ambience to calm anyone who had pre-operation anxiety woes.

That’s very important, you know. The first time I was wheeled in, I kept thinking, “What if I don’t wake up?!” or “What if they don’t administer enough anesthetic and that I wake up halfway during the operation?!” Hahaha.

Anyway, it was my fifth surgery. I was so relaxed I dozed off a couple of times while waiting. I opened my eyes only to verify my identity, drug allergy and condition to the various staff who had to go through a stringent process to ensure that they had the correct patient.

As I continued to be held in the horizontal position, a piece of cloth appeared above my chest.

“What? You mean I can’t watch?”

“What? You mean you want to watch?”

“Erm. Ya, I think I’d better not watch.”

And then it was time. Dr. Chong appeared and began to explain what he and his team were about to do.

“Don’t be nervous, Mr. Teng.”

“Not at all. (Please do whatever you want.) I’m very sleepy now actually.”

I turned my head to look at the machines. My pulse rate hadn’t exceeded 75 since I stepped into the hospital. Very anti-climax.

Something was tied around my thigh to minimize bleeding. Someone rubbed my foot with iodine and scrubbed between my toes. I checked my toenails the night before, by the way. It would have been embarrassing if I showed up with dirty nails.

The only slight bit of pain I felt was when the anesthetic was applied.

“I’m going to give you a quick jab. Please do not kick me.”

Hahahaha. Humourous doctors are greatly appreciated.

Then there was some tugging down there, and I felt the screw coming out. Yes, I could feel the thing being unscrewed!

This is it. The trilogy ends here!

“By the way, Mr Teng, you got someone to fetch you right?”

“No ley, I drove myself.”

“What? You drove?”

Dr. Chong slapped his forehead.

“Huh? Cannot meh? I thought you said G.A. (general anesthesia) then cannot drive?”

“How are you going to drive with a bandaged foot?”

“Can! I drove around with a bandaged and yet to recover fractured foot before!”

I must be the most rebellious patient he ever had.

The hole in my foot was quickly sewed up, and I was pushed to the recovery area before being sent back to my ward. I was getting restless after lying down for so long. And I desperately needed to pee too. But the nurses persuaded me to stay still and got me a plastic container instead.

“Since you don’t want me to get up, can I trouble you to open the safe please? The code is ….”

“You want your handphone, right? Every patient come back, first thing look for handphone.”

Hahaha.

I was fed a tiny sandwich and some medicine before being left alone. I slept for a while before they declared I was ready to leave with painkillers and antibiotics.

Right. I’m determined not to get another infected wound. I bought cling wrap and a set of bandages so that the hole stays totally dry no matter how many times I shower a day. And my friends are buzzing me every six hours to remind me to swallow the pills.

Finally, a picture of that screw. The 5cm thing which has been bothering me for the last 42 months. It’s out!

Borrowing the closing line from Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows, ALL IS WELL (at the moment).

I explored the majestic Ephesus in Turkey. I went trekking in Alishan. I climbed the Great Wall of China. I went for In Camp Training. I hosted events that lasted four to five hours… The screw was with me and although it did give me some trouble, I learned how to deal with it.

It was largely because of all that trauma back then that I kept procrastinating. I wasn’t keen on having someone cut another hole in me, and then undergo another round of bandaging and sitting on the toilet bowl to shower in order to keep the wounds dry.

After a particularly painful SHA however, I thought it was time to put an end to this.

The doctor who gave me my metal implants wasn’t working at the same clinic anymore, so I was referred to Dr. Chong Kian Chun yesterday. The incredulousness was evident.

“Ah! Why didn’t you take it out earlier? Why did you have to wait for three and a half years?”

Errmmmm……..

Dr. Chong was slightly embarrassed and kept explaining that he doesn’t listen to the radio and that he wouldn’t know any of us. It’s fine, really. Hahaha.

“Huh? You mean I have to do X-ray again ah? You can see the screw popping out right?”

No, I wasn’t trying to minimise my bill. I was afraid the whole process would take ages.

“Yes. I need to see (xxxxxxxxxxx).”

I can’t remember what he said. So off I went to the radiographer. (Hahaha!)

As I extended my left foot, I was surprised to be given a protective cover for my groin. I must have had at least four X-rays done in the same fashion and no one gave me that previously. Never mind, I’m not about to start a family anytime soon anyway.

It was nearly 1pm as I walked back to the surgeon’s office.

“What if he had sneaked out to eat? Am I going to be kept waiting?”

As you can see, I’m not very fond of waiting- although I do have enough apps on my phone to keep me occupied.

Oh, the affable Dr. Chong was still there. He was a nice man and I didn’t want to delay his lunch. It took me just five minutes to weigh the options.

- The offending screw definitely has to go. I’m fine with either general or local anesthesia. In fact, I was secretly hoping for G.A. because that ‘drifting off sensation’ is, well, very ‘magical’. Hahaha. We settled for L.A. eventually.

- The metal plate in the middle of my foot is now broken. It’s not because I’m too chor lor. It’s the way my bones have fused. Getting rid of that would mean cutting a bigger hole and therefore a longer recovery period. It’s not a must-do, so I’m just going to leave it for now.

The consultation was done in two hours, and a surgery for 8.45am, Wed was fixed. Perfect!

Coming up in Cruz Teng and The Deathly Screw Part II, a picture of that screw!

Episode I: Cruz Teng and the Drain of Secrets

Date of Release: 13 May 2007

Synopsis: “Avada Kedavra Drain!” Returns from a weekend getaway, falls into the Drain of Secrets and breaks five bones in the left foot. Five digit medical bill and six weeks leave.

Episode II: Cruz Teng and the Wound of Fire

Date of Release: 2 Jul 2007

Synopsis: “Repello Pain!” Infection leading to a Wound of Fire. 2nd surgery requiring general anesthesia to remove stitches and wires.

And the widely anticipated climax of the Trilogy:

Episode III: Cruz Teng and the Deathly Screw

Date of Release: 1 Dec 2010

Synopsis: “Reducto Screw!” Surgery at 8.45am to remove the Deathly Screw.

To be continued…

… which gives me a reason to repeat my medical condition.

You do remember that I fell into a lousy drain in 2007 right? I have some metal embedded in my left foot. Most of the screws aren’t visible but there’s this protruding rivet that can be seen and felt. I was given the option to remove that offending thing, but anyone who did two operations requiring general anesthesia in two months wouldn’t want go to through any more trauma lah.

That is why I must wear very comfortable sneakers or flip-flops with Y-shaped straps, and stay away from boots, slip-on leather shoes and slippers with horizontal binds. And I must prevent anyone (or myself) from stepping on my left foot.

I must have been too chor-lor, which explained why I had to take off my shoes and walk around Indoor Stadium in my socks on rehearsals night. There’s some abrasion on the surface, and a teeny weeny bit of pain.

Maybe I should find time to remove that screw once and for all. You wouldn’t mind if I take MC for a couple of days (and be away from the morning show yet again) to do this surgery, would you?

At the advice of Biingu, I got myself my first bottle of collagen today.

*ta da*

Nothing to do with the cao lao part lah.

Four months after the fateful fall, I’m still limping around. According to the X-rays done a few weeks ago, the bones have completely healed. The ligaments, however, are still causing a considerable amount of pain. According to Biingu, collagen helps in the recovery process. The label on the bottle had a different emphasis though. It claimed that, “…a 600mg capsule 30mins before breakfast and another two hours after dinner will enable improvement in complexion as skin becomes radiant and supple.”

We’ll see…