14 years ago, I did my first solo shift on Y.E.S. 93.3FM. And I never looked back. Literally.

The studio was at the basement of Radio Building on Caldecott Hill. The place is haunted. I’ve never had any supernatural encounters *choy*, but yes, the place is haunted. Don’t argue. Period.

I was a timid 16 year old who didn’t dare to pee during my first 4 hour shift from 2am- 6am on 31.03.1996. Now, I pee as often as I want to. Hahaha. Whenever I hear or sense something funny, I smile and mumble, “Haiyoh, you see me for so many years already. You know who I am already, right? You know I’m here to work and not disturb you, right? Please don’t disturb me. Please let me finish my stuff, ok? Pretty? Thanks.” Really.

Digressed. Sorry.

It’s my anniversary, folks!

Life has never been the same for me (and perhaps you, the unsuspecting listener who has to put up with a mad man shouting WOOHOO! and xx DAYS TO FRIDAY! and IT’S FRIDAY!) since then.

After six years of weekend shifts, it seemed that everyone (me inclusive) took it for granted that I would certainly turn full time after National Service. I might sound a little arrogant, but I honestly never doubted for a second back then, that I would score a position in Singapore’s No. 1 Radio Station.

You know, Virgos are very irritating people. When they like something, they will put in all their heart and soul and make sure they do a good job. Things they don’t like, or don’t do well, they’ll pull a hasty retreat and pretend everything never happened. Virgos don’t like to fail. I never thought of how far I would go in the industry, but I was very sure that I don’t want to be remembered as someone who sucked behind the microphones.

My heartfelt gratitude to the people who made this possible. 是933把我養大的。*cue dramatic overture/ a single tear in the right eye/ right palm to chest

Some asked what I would be doing, if I wasn’t in Radio.

Because there are certain things I can’t do, as Cruz Teng, the Radio Personality, there are days when I wondered if I would be much happier as Cruz Teng, the Whatever.

If I didn’t find out that I only needed ‘A’ levels or a poly diploma to enter the station, I might have worked doubly hard and entered some prestigious JC, and went on to some Ivy League institution… Or I might have gotten a PhD, and people taking my restaurant reservations would have to call me Dr. Teng, instead of Mr. Teng… Or I could be an inconspicuous figure in the army of suits and ties in Shenton Way… Or I could have saved the world by coming up with a vaccine for AIDS… Or I might be sitting in a huge ass office with a hot babe secretary in my lap…

Hahahahahaha.

The many possibilities.

Well, I’m still glad I chose this route- Cruz Teng, the Radio Personality.

The people who are responsible for this include,

-the millions who have tuned in the last 14 years. （我是DJ，又不是審計師。報大數又怎樣？）

-the tens of thousands who love me. （腦袋太小了，你逼死我，我也不可能記得你們每一位。但我也愛你們！）

-the other tens of thousands who still hate me.（嗯。你好。祝你開心）

-the dozens who were by my side all this while.（就是你們啦，不要左看右看）

- the handful who crafted my portfolio （我知道，早期有些“大宗”的案子，是因為沒有別的人選，你們迫於無奈才派我去的。無所謂，只要沒有讓任何人失望就可以了。）

- the individuals who taught me in my foundation years. ZY, ZG, DK, BB- You were the best mentors one could ever have.

It’s been a wonderful journey.

謝謝全宇宙。

After I threw up on Sunday night, I felt nauseous for most of Monday. After some extensive detox (via both top and bottom channels), I texted my partner and boss at 5.30am. “Not coming in today.”

The relief doctor at my usual family clinic- whom I’ve not met before, concluded that it was either mild food poisoning or stomach flu. “Is that why you were not on air this morning?” I laughed out loud despite my discomfort. Ahem.

I’ve stopped running to the loo by the time I saw the doctor, and I guess the metoclopramide should stop the puking by tonight. I hope.

In other news, I have a bunch of heartless friends. Their unanimous verdict: “Won’t die hor? Good. You can lose some weight along the way. Excellent.“

I grew up in Singapore learning that we are a nation with virtually no natural resources, and that we’ll be in deep shit if Malaysia turns off its taps, for we rely heavily on our neighbour for water.

While other countries have waterfalls, rivers, lakes, springs, and whatever, we have to dump in truckloads of money to firstly buy (and process) water, and then come up with NEWater and build those desalination plants.

Now, you’re organising a WATER FESTIVAL. I guess it’s perfectly fine if the event is held at the beach or by the Singapore River. Please tell me they are not using potable tap water.

I must have appeared too enthusiastic (and too yao gwee) when I rushed to speak to Leslie (Ong, Director of UnUsUaL Entertainment) last night. I gave him too firm a handshake and gushed, “Thank you so much for inviting me. The food! The foie gras! I can’t get enough!” He was happy to know that I was having a good time. Hahaha.

The kitchen was helmed by Alvin Leong from Hong Kong, who has a Michelin star to his name, and Robert Mondavi Winery kept everyone thrilled with their fine selection of whites and reds, as well as champagne that accompanied the desserts. I don’t take much alcohol usually, but I polished off each and every glass of wine that was offered to me.

Wakin was in the house with a Jazz repertoire- Fly Me to the Moon, Mona Lisa, What A Wonderful World, and his own classics like 「風雨無阻」、「讓我歡喜讓我憂」and 「明天我要嫁給你」。The finale song 「朋友」 had me sniggering though. I half expected him to hold his thumb and pinkie to his ear and go, “Please call the donation hotline 1900 … …”

I hardly attend such events, and I was more than convinced that I don’t belong to the ranks of the elite. Thirty minutes after I devoured the foie gras and other delicacies, I threw up at Raffles City Shopping Centre. We had sneaked out to get a Coke. (Stop rolling your eyes about the Coke bit.) I muttered I felt like puking, and walked to the gents immediately.

I suppose the food was too rich. It wasn’t the alcohol, definitely. My sincere apologies to the chefs.

Let me stick to $2 chicken rice in the meantime.

… I broke a personal record. I actually slept from 2pm to 5am. Can you beat that?! Hahaha. It wasn’t my intention to keep quashing such records, but I slept my way through somehow. A friend commented that my house has excellent fengshui- perfect for hibernation. I assume it’s going to be really difficult to surpass this 15 hour marathon. (And let’s not start a contest on this, shall we?)

… I had to drop a module. If you don’t already know, I’m into the third (of six) semesters of my part time studies. I didn’t have time to take part in the online forums which made up 20% of the grades. And I failed to complete a 30% assignment. I had to install this software and do some stuff. The thing was cranky right from the start. And there was no one to turn to at 3am. It was my own fault lah. I shouldn’t had started on the task nine hours before the deadline. So I’ll have to graduate a semester later than my peers. And I might take longer if I drop any more modules. Tsk.

… I tried the revolutionary Bio P2X service at Bioskin. I’ve seen and tried all sorts of facial products and services, and I’m sure this will surely take your breath away. Zero pain and zero effort on your part, the grime on your face gets sucked out from deep within your pores. For those who think that extraction is the way to go, this FDA approved machine will take that process to a whole new level. No more excruciating pain and no more redness on your face. It is that amazing. (Disclosure: I am the Ambassador of Bioskin.)

… I received a box of goodies that will certainly make me fat. The promo folks at Channel U are really creative. And evil at the same time. In conjunction with the relaunch on Monday, they’ve come up with the Couch Potato Club campaign. They packed all sorts of tidbits- chocolates, peanuts, crackers, biscuits and even canned drinks into the survival kit. Hmmm. I’ll try not to finish everything in one night.