After a whirlwind trip to Bugis and Vivocity in two and a half hours, I have four new tops for the New Year. And I also have eight sets of new accessories, including a giant bling bling ring, a giant bling bling ear stud and several giant bling blings for the neck.

And oh, I finally own a pair of men’s slippers. The current (and only) pair was bought in Kuala Lumpur three years ago- despite the fact that it was meant for ladies. No one has ever exclaimed that the yellow and blue motifs on the brownish footwear looked feminine anyway.

Never mind the old jeans and old shoes. What the self respecting mahjong king needs right now is new red underwear, and I’m all set for CNY!

I think the bak kwa is beginning to show. OMG.

I was bored and hungry. In order to avoid the crowd doing festive shopping, I suggested Changi Airport Terminal 3, and had four people arriving from four different parts of the island joining me for dinner.

“T3 is supposed to be world class, isn’t it? You mean you guys only have TWO restaurants?!”

That phonecall was to a friend who works at the Airport. She was trying to patronise me by only naming two restaurants. I made her more irritated when I called her mobile phone again upon reaching the airport.

“第三搭客大廈服務熱線，請問有什麼事嗎？ ”

“Hahaha! Don’t like that lah. I can’t find the place. Lazy to look for the directory. Tell me where that restaurant is.”

We got distracted along the way and decided to hop into Crystal Jade. I had a tremendously bad experience at the outlet in Terminal 2, but I was somewhat confident that the branch at Terminal 3 won’t disappoint.

The food was great. But I was publicly humiliated.

To the serving staff, I said, “請給我一罐可樂。”

The response was “你要健怡可樂嗎？” She proceeded to show me a picture of Diet Coke.

And to my horror/amusement/amazement, the same thing happened when I ordered another can of Coke (to share).

I said Coke! NOTHING ELSE! Stop trying to sell me Diet Coke! I would have said Diet Coke if I wanted that lousy cousin of Coke!

*胖子惱羞成怒。哈哈哈哈！

I thought I was the only glutton around. I thought I was the only one destined to put on weight before Chinese New Year. It seems I have company now. Muahahhaa.

Mum:
“… Wah Biang. I’ve finished all the bak kwa before CNY.”

Don:
“… My mum likes the bak kwa. Finishing soon.”

Best Friend:
“… …”

He has recently developed a double chin and is staying away from bak kwa.

Bestest Friend:
“Finished liao! Morning eat bak kwa, evening eat bak kwa. Thank god I don’t sleepwalk, else I’ll be eating your bak kwa when I sleepwalk.”

I’m glad everyone likes the bak kwa I bought. And I’m definitely relieved to note that I’m not the only one suffering from the agony and shock of seeing ever increasing digits on the weighing scale. Susan’s summary was excellent. 獨胖胖不如眾胖胖！

Over the last couple of days, I felt like a bak kwa guru with smses, emails and phonecalls asking for the address of that shop. Because they run a small family business, I doubt I can ever join the ranks of Zoe Tay, Sharon Au and Cassandra See in savouring bak kwa on radio, television or print ads. Shuang Fu Yuan still made me feel like a VIP though. They had another kilogram of bak kwa delivered to me last week.

Thank you very much.

不想过个大肥年都难了。。。

First, the nude photos (of Edison, Gillian & Cecilia) made our jaws drop.

Then again, I personally think people- celebs or otherwise, have the liberty to do anything they want behind closed doors, as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else. Assuming he did put his tongue on her privates, and she did hold his organ and attempted to do something with her mouth, I don’t see how damaging it is to another party, if the people involved weren’t seeing anyone else and if they were doing it of their own accord.

The shock factor has quickly subsided and I’m full of sympathy for those involved.

As the artiste management companies and record labels are doing major damage control and with police investigation underway, Rosanne of 2R (you aren’t alone if you don’t know who she is) told the media that some of the photos in circulation were doctored, while some weren’t.

*slaps forehead repeatedly*

Saboteur ley, this girl…