二姑
Today’s entry is dedicated to my Second Aunt- Dad’s elder sister and fifth of six children.
My 二姑 was a jovial woman in her 50s. My cousin, WX- her first son- is only two weeks older than me. Many of my childhood memories involved WX and 二姑. There were the frequent visits by 二姑 (because I was staying with my grandmother) and the occasional stayovers at her place.
My mum was overseas for an extended period of time when I was in primary school. My 二姑 half assumed a guardian role and made sure that I didn’t end up as a teenage delinquent, and that I was not tikaming when the time came to choose a secondary school. She ensured the perpetually hungry boy in puberty always had enough to eat by stuffing me with extra pocket money each month.
My 二姑 was a fiercely independent woman, who once headed her company’s operations in Guangzhou. Being Chinese educated, her command of the English language was virtually zero until she decided to pick up a primary school English textbook. She was brimming with pride when she told me that she had completed the Primary 4 English syllabus and was going on to the next level.
After my grandmother passed away in 2004, my 二姑 became the de facto matriarch and was the key person in sustaining ties in the extended family. She continued her habit of dropping by my house and when she spotted a faulty appliance, or something that needed attention to, she would swiftly come up with a solution before anyone in the household flipped the yellow pages. She would nag at my untidiness, and proceeded to clean up the mess. That often took place when I wasn’t at home, or when I was doing the usual snooze marathon over the weekends. I have to admit that I would deliberately stay out longer sometimes because I was quite embarrassed to show her the state of my living quarters.
My 二姑 was mischievous though. Once, she spotted SK II samples and a bottle of essence that I was using. She merrily stuffed everything into her bag, claiming that it was compensation for cleaning up my house ever so often. =)
Once she heard about my accident, my 二姑 rushed over to see me and gave me a little red packet to wish me a speedy recovery. She later instructed my brother to get a mahjong table, knowing my love for the game. Yes, it might sound rather incredible to you, but mahjong sessions have not been held in my house for at least a decade. The mahjong table was brought in because she didn’t want me hopping all over the place just to win my friends’ money.
Over the weekend, they finally came over to my place for mahjong.
My 二姑 updated us on her new job scope. From Guangzhou, she had been transferred to Malaysia. I voiced out my concerns about security and she assured me that she never wanders off alone. In fact, she would bring in two packets of food- breakfast and lunch- every morning, as she didn’t want to venture out of the garment factory. She also didn’t want to trouble her colleagues in packing lunch for her.
That was my 二姑. Even if she had to endure certain hardship and difficulties- eating cold food in this instance,- she would never dream of causing inconvenience to anyone.
My 二姑 was prudent with her finances. She used to walk eight bus stops to the workplace from her home. We frequently waved at each other at a certain traffic light junction. She would be there waiting for the green man to appear and I would wave to her while I was in my dad’s taxi on the way to school. Despite the obvious convenience of having my dad to fetch her after dropping me at school, she insisted on the long walk.
My 二姑 single handedly put my two cousins through university. While she was indeed proud to have her two kids excel academically, she never once put me down for refusing to attend university. Instead, she urged me to work hard and do well in my own field.
My 二姑 was a conservative mahjong player. After some initial reluctance, she obliged to the stakes because her nephews and nieces all wanted to play 30-60. Within twenty minutes, she gave out $30 to my brother and cousin and lamented her lack of luck and skill in the game. But she had fun, even after losing $90, and wanted to organise another session the following week involving more people.
Unfortunately, that was my first and last time playing mahjong with my 二姑.
On Monday evening, she was on her way back to the hostel after dinner with her Malaysian colleagues, when she was knocked down by a motorcyclist. At the clinic, the doctor assured her that she was fine, and sent her packing with medication.
At 7am, Tuesday, her colleagues found her unconscious and sent her to a hospital in Johore immediately. Within two hours, the doctors pronounced her dead.
Because she was such an independent woman, she had rejected the company’s policy of maintaining next-of-kin details. Her HR people couldn’t contact her kids. Then someone remembered that I was her nephew, and they hastily made calls to MediaCorp, in the hope of finding me.
However, I remained uncontactable as I was on medical leave, and I had somehow decided to turn off my phone before I turned in.Within an hour though, they managed to contact the rest of the family, who later made their way across the Causeway, while I held fort at her local residence.
My 二姑 was brought back home at 8pm, Tuesday.
She spent her life doing things for other people. She left before I could do anything for her.
I love her. And I miss her.
July 18th, 2007 at 6:38 am
Hi Cruz, don’t be sad. I felt the same loss when my father passed away because I never do much for him when he was around. But life still goes on. Knowing your Aunt had gone to ????, ????????? ???? ???????????
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July 18th, 2007 at 8:10 am
Dear Cruz,
I m so sad to hear abt ur aunt’s passed away.. my condolences..
Moon
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July 18th, 2007 at 8:46 am
My Condolences…
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July 18th, 2007 at 9:00 am
Deepest condolences to you.
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July 18th, 2007 at 9:04 am
my condolences…..
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July 18th, 2007 at 9:08 am
so sad to see your ?? .. hope she rest in peace..
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July 18th, 2007 at 9:18 am
Hi cruz,
i’m sorry to hear that. please dun be sad…
i understand how u feel about family passing away…
please be strong for your er gu.
take care
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July 18th, 2007 at 9:33 am
I am sorry to hear that but life still had to carry on…SHe will remain in ur heart forever…
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July 18th, 2007 at 9:34 am
Cruz, so sorry to hear about your er gu…Life and death are all predestined. One moment this person could be talking to you but the next moment, that person may be gone just like that.
I ever lost a dear friend so I can understand what you all are going through, let alone she’s someone whom you are so close to. Hope you and your family can be strong and get on with life soon. Those who has passed on will always remain in our hearts……
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July 18th, 2007 at 9:58 am
Hi Cruz,
sad to hear about your loss… nevertheless, life still got to go on… take care of yourself and cheer up abit… with my deepest condolences on the demise of your beloved ??.
fond memories of her will forever remain with you.
regards,
Wendy
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July 18th, 2007 at 10:05 am
Cruz, hope you are feeling better now.. Life is like that..once you come to this world, you know that 1 day you will leave this world but it depend on when the day is. Since she was such a kind person here, i believe that she will be in heaven watching you.
You take care ok? even though you sleep late but you still manage to wake up for work today..but bet you did not really sleep well ba.. take care of yourself ba.. =p
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July 18th, 2007 at 10:23 am
Dear Cruz,
Take Care.
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July 18th, 2007 at 10:26 am
Dear Cruz,
My deepest condolences to you…
I know its hard to overcome one’s death, especially when that person meant alot to u…
Cherish everyone beside u…
For u nv noe what might happened the next moment…
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July 18th, 2007 at 10:34 am
My condolences, Cruz. She will always be with ya no matter how many decades will go by.
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July 18th, 2007 at 10:35 am
Dear Cruz
Sorry to hear about your aunt. May she rest in peace.
You take care too….
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July 18th, 2007 at 10:40 am
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July 18th, 2007 at 10:49 am
hi cruz, my deepest condolsences… so sorry to hear abt ur er gu. She must have made a huge impact in your life, and she will definitely continue remain in ur heart. Be strong…
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July 18th, 2007 at 10:49 am
so sorry to see this..
live is really fragile and uncertain..
my deepest condolence…
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July 18th, 2007 at 11:23 am
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July 18th, 2007 at 11:29 am
Hi Cruz, my condolences to you. You made me tear after reading your blog entry. I felt the same way when I lost my granny 3 months ago. I believe your ?? would want you to be strong and steady and ‘Woo hoo ing’ every friday to bring smiles for all listeners on air.
Kind regards,
Take care
*Wishing you speedy recovery for your leg too*
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July 18th, 2007 at 11:36 am
Deepest condolences to you.
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July 18th, 2007 at 11:37 am
take care.
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July 18th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
You must be feeling a lot of heartache while writing out this entry. My deepest condolences to you and your family. take care.
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July 18th, 2007 at 12:33 pm
hey cruz,take it easy bah.learn to cherish those ard us bah,esp ourself,i mean our life.but i feel certain thing shd nt take photo of,like tat funeral thing.tc dj.
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July 18th, 2007 at 1:10 pm
cruz,
my heartfelt and deepest condolences… you take care of yourself, ok? your aunt is a great and selfless lady..
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July 18th, 2007 at 1:15 pm
Sorry about your auntie, she sounded like a wonderful woman.
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July 18th, 2007 at 1:21 pm
*patpat*
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July 18th, 2007 at 1:25 pm
Sorry to hear about ur aunt. May she rest in peace.
My condolences to u.
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July 18th, 2007 at 1:27 pm
Hi! Cruz
my condolences to u, dun be sad & please take care!
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July 18th, 2007 at 1:29 pm
cruz, im so sorry to heard that. no matter what, must stay strong. cause your er gu wouldnt be happy to see you in the depressed state. death is part of life. It’s inevitable. What matter most is to care for people who are here now. cherish them, and shower them with love.
p.s: glad to hear you on the radio today.
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July 18th, 2007 at 1:39 pm
Take care. is a sad blog. life is so cruel sometimes. though it is said over and over again, but few will treasure until something hits them hard. stay happy. help ur cousins whenever u can.
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July 18th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
she would be resting blissfully in peace. (I’m sure)
life goes on, JIAYOU!
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July 18th, 2007 at 1:57 pm
cruz, i am so sorry to hear that.
pls take care.
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July 18th, 2007 at 2:20 pm
Hi Cruz,
My Condolences…
Take care.
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July 18th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
Take care and deepest condolences to you
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July 18th, 2007 at 2:50 pm
When I saw this tribute you have wrote, I have goose bumps all over me…can feel your pain and loss…sigh…that’s life…I hope “she” will be better off up there…
Do take care and my deepest condolences to you and her family…….*be strong*
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July 18th, 2007 at 2:51 pm
hi cruz,
my deepest condolsences to u…
I believe in every family there will always hav a person who like your ??, always there for everyone in the family members n always drawn the strong bonds btw every family member jus like my own Mother-In-Law…
When they are away, we will feel something missing… & sad… can’t even take the true…
BUT….
I somehow believe… THEY will always be THERE in our heart n always will be by our side when we need help…
THEY will always be THERE with Us.. (dun u think so…?)
Take Care c”,
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July 18th, 2007 at 2:56 pm
??Cruz!
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July 18th, 2007 at 3:06 pm
Take Care. Don be sad!
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July 18th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
Take Care … She’ll always be with u …
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July 18th, 2007 at 3:09 pm
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July 18th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
my condolences.
take good care
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July 18th, 2007 at 3:28 pm
My condolences to you Cruz..
Take care…
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July 18th, 2007 at 3:33 pm
Please dun be sad… i will continue to support your 93.3 morning shift.
Jiayou.. you are our forever wan ren mi…
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July 18th, 2007 at 3:38 pm
Dear Cruz,
So Sorry to hear about ur er gu…my deepest condolences to you & your family.
????????? “?? & ??”…..???????.
And take care of yourself & your leg!
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July 18th, 2007 at 4:00 pm
I understand it’s a very very tough period for you and no matter how much I (we) ask you not to be so sad, it will be almost impossible. The endless thoughts of the loved ones simply amplify the sorrow. But, do try to take it easy. Find someone you’re close to and talk to him/her cos it’s better to let your emotions flow through. Cry if you want.
Do take care esp at this time when you’re still injured/sick.
They may no longer be around but what matters is whether they’ve left a significant mark in your heart and whether they will be fondly thought of, even after their demise.
Take care.
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July 18th, 2007 at 4:22 pm
Deepest condolences to you.
Take Care
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July 18th, 2007 at 4:46 pm
A touching post! Take care!
May she rest in peace…
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July 18th, 2007 at 4:56 pm
i’m sorry to hear that..
be strong k??
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July 18th, 2007 at 4:59 pm
sorry to hear tat .. take care!
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July 18th, 2007 at 5:15 pm
cruz ?????, ?????????????????????! ??????????!
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July 18th, 2007 at 5:42 pm
????…
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July 18th, 2007 at 6:35 pm
hi..take care ok…
i’m sure she wants u to be strong n not be too affected also…right??!!
cruz…..jia you ba…!!
She’ll always be with u…
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July 18th, 2007 at 6:49 pm
my deepest condolences.. i know hw u feel.. as mydad only passed away this jan…
although u have one hundred not willing to let her go, but since she is gone, let her go peacefully…
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July 18th, 2007 at 8:44 pm
My Condolences.
i feel like crying when reading this entry…
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July 18th, 2007 at 8:52 pm
my deepest condolences—I can understand how you are feeling……cos when my grandma passed away this wk - feb …..I couldn’t take the news and I was feeling very very sad n depressed…
She wants you to be strong and move on ……
Take care !!!!!
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July 18th, 2007 at 9:19 pm
Dear Cruz..
I just lost a childhood fren last week too.. 26 years on earth and off he goes without any warning in an accident..
It’s sad, but at least we know they wont have any more suffering and will be taken care by the angels above..
Take care and we all know, life have to go on and they also wish for our happiness..
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July 18th, 2007 at 9:32 pm
take care le.. dun be too upset le…
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July 18th, 2007 at 10:04 pm
Hi Cruz.
Your Er Gu is indeed a great person.
I’m sorry to see this news.
And I totally understand how you feel right now.
Stay strong.
Though she’s dead, but she will always lives inside your heart.
Take good care of yourself.
Hang on there.
My deepest condolences.
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July 18th, 2007 at 10:10 pm
“She spent her life doing things for other people. She left before I could do anything for her.”
You can pass on her spirit and continue to do things for other people, too. Please take care– my deepest condolences.
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July 18th, 2007 at 10:15 pm
My deepest condolences. Take care..
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July 18th, 2007 at 10:19 pm
treasure what you have and hold.. you’ll never know when it will be gone in a flash..
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July 18th, 2007 at 10:30 pm
my condolences..pls take care cruz
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July 18th, 2007 at 10:31 pm
Hi Cruz,
Deepest condolences to you
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July 18th, 2007 at 10:41 pm
???????..
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July 18th, 2007 at 10:42 pm
My Deepest Condolences.
U have a great aunt & i believed her positive spirit shall live in you.
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July 18th, 2007 at 10:44 pm
dun be too sad…take care
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July 18th, 2007 at 10:45 pm
i am so so sorry to hear about your loss. my condolences to u and ur family.
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July 18th, 2007 at 10:48 pm
Be strong man…i guess we cant predict what will happen tml…oh man…my eyes are wet after reading your entry…
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July 18th, 2007 at 11:23 pm
Cruz, I’m sorry to hear about your loss of your aunt… My condolences to you and your family… Be brave and be strong… Life have to go on no matter what and she will be your heart always…
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July 18th, 2007 at 11:24 pm
my deepest condolsences to you and ur family. be strong zhi yong, im sorry and sad to see n read it from ur blog. sometimes things just happen without saying good-bye
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July 18th, 2007 at 11:28 pm
my deepest condolences to u…
ur aunt is a great lady, im sure she will be watching over u all…
????????!
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July 18th, 2007 at 11:33 pm
Its such a sad post.. and it made my feel like crying.. cos my granny also just left us last year…
and.. cruz.. my deepest condolences to u and your family..
She will be in heaven to look after u and your family..
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July 18th, 2007 at 11:50 pm
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July 19th, 2007 at 12:02 am
my condolences. do take care.
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July 19th, 2007 at 12:05 am
Deepest condolences
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July 19th, 2007 at 12:10 am
Sorry to hear abt your loss…
Deepest condolences… take care…
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July 19th, 2007 at 12:33 am
My Condolences….. Must be strong k…
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July 19th, 2007 at 12:45 am
=( so sad.. Deepest condolences to you
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July 19th, 2007 at 12:50 am
My deepest condolences… she’s a great lady.
I’m sure that she will always stay in the heart of people who she cared for and cared for her.
Please take care.
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July 19th, 2007 at 1:06 am
Gambatte ne~
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She may be gone, but she’ll live in your heart forever.
Take good care and get well soon.
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July 19th, 2007 at 1:29 am
*hugs*
i could share your loss.. just last wk alone, a friend and a young father just left our side too.. i took some time to get over it.. but thinking back, they would want us to remember all those times we’ve had together.. same with your Aunt.. that’s why u could write so much abt her, and her love, care and concern for u.. it’s those little gestures and actions that came from the hearts that count… be strong, take care!
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July 19th, 2007 at 1:43 am
She might have gone to the other world, but her spirit still remains. She will wish that u n ur family members continue to live on well. Pls don let her down cruz. I know u are a strong person. Do take up the responsibility of consoling ur relatives about the lost. We will continue to pray for her.
I hereby salute a great lady. Take care!!
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July 19th, 2007 at 2:51 am
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July 19th, 2007 at 5:16 am
My Condolences…Take care!Be strong!
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July 19th, 2007 at 8:56 am
deepest condolences
my ah ma left us on mother’s day this year after a long fight from stoke
so the feeling of being very lost is there…
jia you…
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July 19th, 2007 at 12:14 pm
Dear Cruz,
Deepest condolences to you and your family. Can really understand the agony of losing a family member. My grandmother passed away a month ago..
Pls be strong
Best wishes
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July 19th, 2007 at 12:46 pm
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July 19th, 2007 at 1:21 pm
My deepest condolences..
I am sure she is as close as ur mother to you.. and the hurt ur having now is unimaginable..
But do be strong.. time will heal..
And she will always know how much you love her .. coz she also loves u that much..
So continue to do her proud
Take care
ur supporter..
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July 19th, 2007 at 1:48 pm
Deepest condolences to you.
Anyway, your aunt will still wish that her all family are happy.
Have you tried to sue the clinic?
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July 19th, 2007 at 2:33 pm
Deepest condolences cruz.
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July 19th, 2007 at 2:50 pm
[...] 19 07 2007 juskawaime was reading the DJ ??? blog.. was upset to know that his beloved aunt has passed away due to recent accident.. It is indeed [...]
July 19th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
yup.. agree wif yl…
cruz.. thanx for bringing us laughter in the morning despite the loss of ur ??
take care..
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July 19th, 2007 at 5:23 pm
My Condolences
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July 19th, 2007 at 6:42 pm
Hey Cruz,
My Deepest Condolences to you anf your family.
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July 19th, 2007 at 9:49 pm
My condolences to you and your family…you look like her btw. Take care.
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July 19th, 2007 at 9:52 pm
Cruz, please don’t brood over it. Take care..
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July 19th, 2007 at 9:56 pm
hey cruz…dun be sad…be strong…..
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July 19th, 2007 at 10:29 pm
my heartfelt condolences …
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July 19th, 2007 at 10:44 pm
deepest condolences to u.. be strong and take great care of ur feet ok? don be too sad ya?
JIA YOU~!
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July 19th, 2007 at 11:18 pm
hey cruz, be strong and take care.
may your aunt rest in peace.
my condolences to you and your family.
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July 20th, 2007 at 12:20 am
deepest condolences! she’s a great women!
be strong! take care~
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July 20th, 2007 at 12:24 am
my deepest condolences to you and your family.
take care.
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July 20th, 2007 at 1:07 am
Am speechless. Deepest condolences. Be strong, my dear.
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July 20th, 2007 at 8:54 am
tears drop….
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July 20th, 2007 at 11:42 am
stay strong, cruz.
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July 20th, 2007 at 12:47 pm
Do take care!
God bless and comfort you in time of lost.
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July 20th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
Please be strong…
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July 20th, 2007 at 3:48 pm
shh0 sadd..
relax…
dunchh be sadd aniim0re..
ii felt sadd oso
whhen maii grandma
passed awayy
during dhe frist ddae 0f sch…
dhiis year..
makes me feel shh0..
makes me nn0 m00dd t0 studyy…
ccuz im veh cl0se t0 hher..
andd shhe d0tes on me al0t…
haiiz..
dunchh be sadd larhhs…
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July 20th, 2007 at 5:19 pm
I agree with Anonymous…u really look like ur ??.
I feel the same way upon seeing her pic, u got
her smile & dimple:)
Tink 2moro wil b a difficult day for u & ur family….
pls take it easy, k! Take care!
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July 20th, 2007 at 6:04 pm
dun wanna say much cos everyone else has written wat i wanna say.
my condolences..take care
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July 20th, 2007 at 7:51 pm
I’m sorry to hear that… Dun worry she is a strong and independent woman and will take good care of herself in the new world she now belongs…
My Deepest Condolences to you and your family…
Do take care of yourself too…
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July 20th, 2007 at 9:35 pm
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July 20th, 2007 at 10:14 pm
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July 21st, 2007 at 10:54 am
Hi Cruz,
my deepest condolences and be strong!
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July 21st, 2007 at 4:13 pm
dun be sad ler larhs although she dioed but still lives in ur heart rite hewlp me pay my reopects for her
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July 21st, 2007 at 6:06 pm
Zhi yong,
Deepest Condolences.
Pick yourself up after the fall.
Cry and it’ll be over soon.
Probably you’ll wanna go bai-bai,
Looks like this isn’t a very smooth year for you.
In terms of health and family.
Do take care and hope all’s well with you
‘Ni jiu shi wo meng de wan re mi’
Cheers
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July 21st, 2007 at 9:06 pm
Take care.
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July 21st, 2007 at 11:00 pm
Cruz,
I was deeply touched by your entry. It’s heart aching to hear about the news. She’s a good person, and she will go to a better place. Cheer up. Be strong and take care of yourself k?
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July 22nd, 2007 at 12:50 am
Deepest condolences cruz…
hope all your sad and unhappy or painful experiences end here, right here.
muz be strong and many ppl are always behind u…jia you all the way!! all the unhappiness will soon go away and we will see the bright and cheerful sky smiling and waving at u again =)
do take lotsa care
Cheers =)
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July 22nd, 2007 at 2:31 am
my condolences to you and your family.
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July 22nd, 2007 at 8:16 am
I send my deepest condolences… Take care of your health
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July 22nd, 2007 at 10:48 am
Deepest condolences.
Take care.
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July 22nd, 2007 at 9:02 pm
deepest condolences to you.
Cheer up and Be strong!
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July 22nd, 2007 at 10:28 pm
My deepest condolences to you. Tc!
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July 22nd, 2007 at 11:28 pm
i think of my mum when i saw ur er gu photo. My mum passed away 3 mths ago, at the age of 55 yrs old. She like ur er gu, very caring mum. Till now, there is not a nite where my tear nv rolled down. Sometimes i feel like joining her but i know she will be very angry if i do that…but nobody understand my feeling.
To all out there, really have to spent more time w family, if not will regret if they are not ard…
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July 25th, 2007 at 11:47 am
deepest condolences to you & your family..
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July 26th, 2007 at 12:29 pm
hi, i was at the wake too. your aunt was indeed a very admirable woman.. for all the things she went through.
WX is a gd fren of mine. do hope u can be there for him n his sis..
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July 27th, 2007 at 8:06 pm
i reading it….. i cried…. it’s really so sad…. and i can also understand it as i have a grandpa who really love me so much left me too…..
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July 27th, 2007 at 10:48 pm
Zhiyong,
Stay strong… I can understand the pain coz I once lost a man whom i tot i will be spending the rest of my live with…. i guess tat’s life… it’s always those who are still alive tat will suffer more… think positively tat she is better off in the other world, at least no worries or pains… and one day, everyone will meet again.. just like the book by mitch albom “The five people you meet in heaven”
Take care…
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July 30th, 2007 at 1:11 am
cruz,
my condolences..
this is the first time i’m here.. j
uz back from overseas n after screening thru ur blog, found this entry…
wats gone is gone.. stay strong.. she will appreciate wat u have done… everyone will feel lost but life has to go on, stay strong, for ur aunt herself was a strong woman… god bless..
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