WARNING: Gross pictures ahead. Scroll down at your own risk.

A SOS message was sent last evening,

Dear ex-St John people, I think my bandaged foot is very swollen now. Elevating doesn’t seem to work. How now?

SK promptly replied,

Best thing is of course to put ice. But since it’s bandaged, you can’t apply ice. How about putting your foot into the fridge? Hahaha.

Very helpful… *sweats

(By the way, this isn’t the gross picture which I am talking about. Don’t be rude.)

I was scheduled for a follow up visit at Mt Alvernia this morning. The best friend now has a new concurrent appointment as the Bai Kah King’s Fulltime Driver. I’m sure you know that isn’t really an honour.

The dressing was changed and I got to see the wound and my foot. OMG!

My foot has swelled to a state that I couldn’t recognise it anymore!

Upon further understanding, my condition is a Linsfranc Fracture. Apart from the broken and dislocated bones, the ligaments on both sides of the foot are torn. The nails are going to stay there permanently, while the fine wires will be removed in six weeks’ time.

Cruz: Doctor ah, my friend asked me to ask you… How do I pass airport security in the future?

Muahahaha. It really wasn’t a question from me!

Well, some airports apparently have remarkable sensors that can detect metal embedded in humans. I might have to carry a note to certify that an operation had been done on my foot.

That is why I am considering changing my name to Wolverine Cruz Teng Chee Yong. Although some ang mohs might have a problem underlining my first, middle and last name.

After the appointment, I said I wanted a LAVISH LUNCH.

Retail therapy is out of the question, so I would have to settle for food therapy.

I absolutely regretted that.

It took me at least 30 minutes to make my way to the restaurant from the carpark. I totally didn’t enjoy the meal because I couldn’t place my bandaged foot in a comfortable position. The panting and struggling to and fro was quite unbearable.

To anyone who saw me mumbling to myself at AMK Hub earlier this afternoon, those weren’t self encouragement phrases like, “Jia You Cruz! You can do it!“. I was speaking Hokkien. And I don’t think you want to know the actual contents.

People who have received advance invitations to the King’s Recovery Party would have to wait a while more.

In the meantime, I need you guys to help me with this. Please list a couple of GOOD restaurants where bai kah people like me can visit with ease. You know, with easy access to carparks and lifts? I can’t tahan walking too much lah. Thank you