Here’s a bouquet of carnations to all the teachers who experienced the misfortune of having Teng Chee Yong in their classes – Charlton Primary School 1986 – 1991, Anderson Secondary School 1992 – 1995 and Ngee Ann Polytechnic, Business Studies 1996 – 1999. With hundreds and thousands of names appearing on their class registers year [...]

If you think my life is full of drama, wait till you hear about my dreams…
Last night, I dreamt that I was going steady with a Heavenly Queen of Chinese Pop (who shall remain anonymous). Paparazzi sneaked up on us. Soon, my pictures were all over the papers across Asia!
Woah!
The funniest thing isn’t this really. [...]

All right, it’s the final week of voting. After remaining relatively dignified for the last three weeks, it’s time for me to be shameless with a capital S.
Time is running out, people!
Really, this is the time of the year I feel so loved. Winning an award is never a solo achievement. Because of the people [...]

女听众A:
志勇，你瘦了

*Blush*

***
女听众B:
志勇，你真人比照片好看。
*Blush* 简直是睁着眼睛说瞎话。
不过我喜欢。哈哈哈哈哈。
***
慧诗:
你的头发很好看。谁帮你弄的？
志勇：
自己。
慧诗：
那为什么你每天来公司头发那么难看？
志勇：
又不是每天有人找我签名、拍照！
***
Yes. I’m a himbo. A lazy one.

At the mahjong table earlier this evening, I lovingly unveiled the BLUE packaging, all eager to sink my teeth into the burger.
I got a Double Cheeseburger instead.
Wah laos.
If I got bai sin, then I cannot eat beef ley. Like that how?
I peered into the paper bag, searching for a straw to poke into my [...]

While I was accompanying Arthover on a hunt for a shirt to an important dinner, Justin was queuing at Tangs, where Kit Chan was scheduled to do a roadshow for Forbidden City.

Justin:
Can you pls sign this for Cruz? Do you remember him?
Kit:
Who?
Justin:
Zhiyong. You remember?
Kit:
I know a few Zhiyongs. Some I like, some I don’t like.
Apparently, [...]

For the longest time, I knew there were nine planets. Never mind if I can’t name them all, or that I only remember that Earth is the third planet from the sun…
They told me this morning that there are only eight planets now!
Can like that one meh?
Poor Pluto…

Over the phone last evening,
Cruz:
我跟你说： 今晚的马票，我买了ABCD, 结果开AECD 和 AFCD! 哇老。妈的。。。
The Auntie:
呵。。。先生，请你讲话不要这样粗鲁可以吗？全世界听到了。
Apparently, my mum was at the hairdresser’s and put me on speaker mode.
***
My car was with Ryan last evening. A mahjong session was arranged, and I was left pondering whether to hail a cab (and pay $2.50 + $2 peak hour surcharge + 40 cents [...]