Red and White.
At the start of the Year of the Dog, I was told to avoid red and white events. That included marriages and funerals.
While I’m not a particularly superstitious person, I don’t mind making people think I’m pantang if that can be a reason for me not to attend such functions.
K:
If you don’t go for wedding dinners, that means you can save a lot on ang pow money.
Me:
No… Once you get the invitation card, you have to pay up whether you attend or not.
They did have some objections over the paying up term. Haha.
I like weddings, really. Of friends whom I’m close to. To see them walk down the aisle and know that they will be in safe hands. Viewing their montage and listening to cheesy love tunes make me go all mushy inside.
But, I don’t like to attend weddings of friends I’m not even close to. Never mind the issue of me coughing up an ang pow and walking away with a half filled stomach. I just don’t like long dinners. Why should we be eating for two hours when a Fillet O Fish can do the job in five minutes?
Pardon me, but I don’t try to make conversation with strangers at the table. I’m shy, remember? It’s wishful thinking, but I always try to get away with a polite megawatt smile in the beginning, another polite megawatt smile at the end, plus a few polite non-megawatt smiles along the way when we make eye contact. I also pray that people who don’t know me, don’t ask what I do for a living, and people who know what I do for a living ask me something else besides “who is the prettiest/ rudest/ funniest/ ugliest celeb I’ve ever met”.
But nothing beats mere acquaintances attracting attention by announcing they know me and go on to introduce me to half the ballroom. What were those people thinking?
If I wanted attention, I would have gone up and french-kissed the bride. In front of the groom. And their parents. On stage.
My point is, I do not wish to be in the centre of attention at a wedding dinner or a talking piece for bored dinner guests.
Please, please, please. The next time you see me at a wedding banquet, just ask me when I’m getting married ok?
***
Sidetrack a bit, I heard this joke about a girl being constantly asked by her elders at wedding dinners, “So, when’s your turn?”
They finally stopped when the girl turned round at a funeral and asked them, “So, when’s your turn?”
***
Was at Bishan for a wake on Thu evening. The granddad of two good friends passed away.
The scene reminded me too much of my grandmother’s demise one and a half years ago. What I did, how little I slept, how much I cried, the friendship and love I received and the disagreements that went on behind the scenes… Every single little detail is so vivid till now.
Yes, even though she lived to a ripe old age and is considered to be fortunate by some, the sense of loss is indescribable.
So, I don’t like funerals too. (Then again, who would say they liked going to funerals?)
Most of the time, I’m not sure of the proper decorum to observe. To attend with a stern face? Or try to liven things up?
I was actually going round saying hello when I arrived *slaps forehead* Ya lah, boh bian, I know so many people…
W and M were cajoling me to join them for mahjong. But nah… Somehow, I don’t like playing mahjong at such occasions.
Moments later, the mums of Jack and Arthover came asking me to join them for mahjong *slaps forehead harder* Just what have Jack and Art been telling them? Why were they asking me and not other people?
Sorry aunties, I don’t play mahjong at funerals. And I don’t play with aunties. I’m an amateur lah, I’m not suitable to play with highly skilled players like you all lah *Blush*
Now on a more sombre note, my deepest condolences to Jack and Art. Sorry, I won’t be around for the next few days. Please take care yeah?
And a reminder to both, and everyone else who’re clueless: You’re not supposed to say “Thank You” when people hand you the pek kim. You’re to say “有心了”。 Similarly, you’re not supposed to thank people for coming. “Bye” is definitely not correct. In fact I don’t know the correct phrase here. Just wave lah…
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