ALERT: Bukoh Mary, you’d better not be reading this. I repeat. DO NOT READ THIS. This is for your own good. Close this window or surf elsewhere. ShOOooO
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MARY! I said you cannot read this! ShooOOoO!
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Right.. Now that Mary is safely out of the way…

YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO HAVE SOMEONE SHOVE A METAL ROD DOWN YOUR THROAT!?!

Wah lao eh!
Wah lao eh!
Wah lao eh!
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What did I get myself into man?
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The story goes like this… A new Health Programme is set to debut on Channel 8 soon… Guests would be invited for check-ups to find out if they’re suffering from any occupational hazards. And so, Mary and I will appear on the episode featuring DJs and teachers, since both jobs require extensive usage of our vocals.

Prior to that test, a very nice lady by the name of Joyce conducted a hearing test and concluded that I was listening to too much music at too high levels. She added it’s pretty common, nothing fatal, but it would be good if I can turn down the volume by a few notches. Great.

Moments later, I was ushered into a room with Dr L.

That’s where the nightmare began.

He carefully explained the procedure, which I didn’t really pay attention to, cos I was studying the METAL ROD with a CAMERA at the tip. I don’t know the proper name, and NO, NO, NO, I do not wish to know the name. (Kim and other nurses who are reading this, DO NOT mention that object okie..)

Step 1: Anaesthetic was sprayed into my mouth, with the hope of rendering my tongue and throat numb.

Step 2: Doc pulls my tongue and holds it.

Step 3: The METAL ROD is slowly inserted into my mouth… Slowly but steadily…

AND I FELT I WAS CHOKING.

After some repeats of Steps 2 and 3, they still couldn’t get the damned thing fully in.

More anaesthetic was sprayed. And a few more attempts.

WAH LAO EH!

Cannot leh. I can feel the bloody thing poking at the back of my throat. A few times, I felt I was gagging. I felt like puking and I began to tear uncontrollably. I coughed like my lungs were about to give way. And I felt my mouth was being raped.

Hahaha to the last sentence, but trust me. THAT WAS A NIGHTMARE.

Ya, the test costs like $200, and it’s a free check up for me.

Ya, the doctor, the speech therapist and nurses were very nice..

But.. ARGH!!!!

Five hours later, I can still feel that “kana poked in the throat” sensation.

:,(

Good luck to Mary, who will be taking the test soon.

P/S: Bukoh Mary: I told you not to read this, didn’t I?
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EDITS:

This is what you see when someone shoves a metal rod down your throat….

… Above the larynx is a flexible structure made up of cartilage called the epiglottis. When we swallow, the larynx, the epiglottis, and the vocal cords all close as much as possible to prevent food from getting into the lungs. As a protective measure, the larynx has a rich nerve supply and is very sensitive to touch. Anybody who has gotten food or liquid “down the wrong way” knows how strong a cough can be produced by contact with the larynx and the trachea; this is the body’s way of clearing material out of the airway.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005 at 7:50 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.